Resilience describes our ability to bounce back from stress, adversity, failure and challenges. However, it is often misunderstood that failure is not something we are born with, or something that some people have and others do not. Rather, resilience is something that we develop, grow and foster over time and with support and guidance.
Resilience allows us:
Without resilience children can experience:
Resilience can be divided into five pillars
1 – Don’t be scared to let children experience disappointment – but do talk them through it so that they recognise sadness is not forever. Disappointment is part of life, and supporting children to make sense of it and move past it is imperative to developing resilience.
2 – Validate their fears but make plans to problem solve to allow them to still have freedom and autonomy – Recognising and validating children’s fears is important, however, we should also support them to find solutions and opportunities to move past them so that they can grow their zone of tolerance and move through fears rather than be controlled by them.
3 – Encourage taking calculated risks and experience consequence – Supporting children to take calculated risks and manage consequences helps them to develop life skills in managing challenges, consequence and learning from them to develop our intellectual and mental strength.
4 – Step out of your comfort zone – Encourage new things and experiences – Staying in our comfort zone can means that our zone of tolerance to life challenges and experiences is very small. Therefore, supporting children to grow their comfort zone, by stepping out of it and experiencing new things is important to developing resilience.
5 – Take time to sit and reflect and review mistakes and what we have learnt – Helping children to take time to reflect on mistakes and failures so that they can learn and grow from them prevents them feeling that they cannot achieve.
6 – Step back and encourage problem solving and decision making Whilst we sometimes want to jump in and save the day, encouraging and supporting children to problem solve and make decisions builds their confidence in resolving similar issues in the future.
7 – Share motivational stories of persistence and determination Sharing motivational and inspirational stories about others who have conquered challenging situations, persevered and utilised determination can allow us to learn new mindsets, thought processes and find solutions.
8 – Role model and examine our reactions and emotions – Being a good role model, owning our own mistakes, role modelling determination and perseverance as well as auditing our own behaviours allows us to demonstrate to children what resilience looks like and to learn from us.
For resources to support children to develop their emotional intelligence you can visit www.adventuresofbrian.co.uk
For training courses and support with strategies to support children you can visit www.dandeliontraininganddevelopment.com